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The Male Brain
an interview with Daniel
Amen, M.D. |
E-Newsletter No. 59
The Male Brain
The View
12/4/05
The daytime television show The View did a whole program on the male brain. I was
interviewed by Elisabeth Hasselback, Star Jones, Meredith Vieira, and Joy Behar all at the
same time. This contentious group wanted to know why men and women were so different. My
segment was on after actor Donnie Deustch, whom the girls just roasted. They asked him how
many times he had been married, which was twice, and why his marriages had failed, he
didnt know, and whether or not he cheated on his wives, no, and what his problem
was, did they have a shrinks coach nearby. Wow! It seemed some of the interviewers
woke up on the wrong side of men that morning.
My interview covered nine questions. They were easier on me, because I
think they knew less about the brain than how to torture men. I have included the
questions here because they are typical questions women ask about men.
1. The interview with me started out with Elisabeth Hasselback asking, Is there
really a difference between a mans and womans brain?
I had trouble talking because Elisabeth is stunning. Since the mans brain is 50%
visual, I was very distracted. Gathering my composure, I said, Huge differences, and
we can prove it. Here I pointed to a set of brain scans we did of a couple at my
clinic. Typically, the womans brain is very active, like the one shown here.
Thinking, thinking, thinking, especially in the emotional part of the brain. The
mans brain, by comparison, is relatively quiet. A womans brain is always
working and a mans brain needs stimulation. Meredith chimed in,
Seems like little is happening in the male brain.
2. Lets get down to specifics. Why do men think about sex all the time?
The part of the brain responsive to sex hormones is two and a half times larger in men
than women. Men are programmed to be more responsive to sexual feelings. Plus, with the
lower activity in the brain men are looking for excitement and stimulation. What is more
stimulating to think about than sex?
3. You say there is a way you can tell which men have more testosterone than others.
How?
According to University of Liverpool researcher John Manning, the size of your ring
fingers and genitals are related to how much testosterone you received in the womb; the
higher the testosterone level, the longer they are. In fact, looking at the length of ring
fingers in comparison to index fingers will give an idea of the size of a mans
penis. If the ring fingers are longer, it means there was healthy testosterone levels; if
they are the same size or smaller it means there were lowered levels. Women can estimate
the length of a mans penis by saying, Show me your hands. Those who have
unusually long ring fingers (indicating high testosterone) are at greater risk for autism,
dyslexia, stuttering and immune dysfunction. A large member may not be all that great. On
the other hand, a male with unusually short ring fingers is at higher risk for heart
disease and infertility. Size matters, but it can go both ways.
4. Why dont men need foreplay like women do?
Men are always ready for excitement. With the lower activity levels in our brain,
and higher testosterone levels, it takes little to get us going. We are always idling,
waiting to be taken for a ride. Women, on the other hand, have so much going on in their
brains that they need to be soothed, courted, and encouraged to be in the mood. They need
a method to calm down their brains.
5. Why dont men ask for directions when they are lost?
Men do not know that they are lost, even if they have passed the same gas station
four times. Men have less access to the right hemisphere, which gives them the big picture
of gestalt of a situation. The right hemisphere allows people to know when a problem
exists. Since men have less access, they are often in the dark when something is wrong. It
happens in many other situations besides driving, such as admitting that there is trouble
in a relationship (75% of the time women are the ones who file for divorce or leave a
relationship). Men are also singularly focused on finding their way. Admitting that you
are lost is admitting failure, some thing men are very poor at doing.
6. Why dont men gossip?
Men do gossip, just not as much as women. Men have language exclusively
on the left side of the brain, while women have language on both sides. Women have more to
say because more areas of the brain are dedicated to language. Men are also more
interested in sports than in emotional relationships. Sport talk shows are very popular
sources of gossip for men. In conversations, men often get lost in the amount of words
used by women. When it comes to parenting, using fewer words is actually helpful. As a
child psychiatrist, I have seen that children usually listen to their fathers more often
than their mothers. In large part, it is because men use fewer words than women and they
are more serious about consequences to negative behavior. Mothers want children to
understand, they want to be relational with them; fathers want children to comply, like
listening to the coach during a ball game.
7. Why cant a man let go of the remote control?
With the lower overall brain function, a man needs more
stimulation. As he flips through channels, he is often looking for something new,
something different, something exciting. A woman is often content watching a single
program, with a relational story line where characters show emotions. She likes to predict
what will happen next and needs the continuity to stay interested. The remote control
allows a man to surf the wild looking for fair game. Men also have shorter attention spans
than women. Men are diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) five
times more than women.
8. A recent survey came out and it said that men lie more than women, but that women
are actually better liars. Why is that?
Given the lower brain function, especially in the front part of the
brain (also associated with the higher incidence of ADHD), men tend to be more impulsive
than women. They tend to have more affairs and tend to say things without fully thinking
it through, and often find themselves in hot water. Women also lie, but they get caught
less. One reason, as I mentioned earlier, is that women have better access to the right
hemisphere and thus read social cues better than men. They notice the small things, like
looking away or down or clearing your throat, that are typical in people who are not
telling the truth. Since men tend to be in denial a lot of the time, they do not see when
their partner is lying.
9. Why dont men remember dates like birthdays and anniversaries?
Men are men. As such they are thinking about providing for their families, competing
with other men, and sex. Opposed to women who are thinking, thinking, thinking about the
relationship, men are busy doing. This does not mean they love less, they just love like
men. This often causes them to forget important dates, even though they try hard not
to.
Rules for Men on Women and for Women on Men
Given the latest neuroscience research, here are seven rules to help
men and women better understand and navigate the brain differences between the sexes.
Rules for Men on Women
1. Recognize women are very different from you. Ask her what she needs
to be happy and listen. Remember they leave the relationship 75% of the time.
2. Women typically need listening, not solutions (she is already
competent)
3. Never ask a woman to get to the point.
4. She needs time, talking, and nonsexual touch for foreplay.
5. Just because she catches you ogling another woman does not mean she
is not ogling another guy.
6. On a long trip do the night driving, usually your night vision is
better than hers.
7. She thinks it is sexy if you ask for directions. You win her heart by
being willing to ask for help.
8. She has a keener sense of smell. Find out the smells she likes. Does
she like it if you take a shower before bed, or does she like it if you dont? Check
it out.
Rules for Women on Men
1. Recognize men are very different from you. Ask him what he needs to
be happy.
2. He can only do one thing at a time, when you want to talk to him wait
until the game is over and ask for a specific time to talk.
3. Never try to get a man to admit to losing a fight.
4. If you want him to really listen try to use fewer words.
5. He is programmed to compete and win, make him think he wins a lot.
6. Just because you catch a guy ogling a woman does not mean you do not
do it as well.
7. On a long trip do the day driving.
8. Many of his senses are not as keen as yours.
Dr Amen's web site: http://www.amenclinic.com/
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